Missouri State Auditor says "Don't call me Fitzpatrick, just call me Fitz"

In an effort to place more attention on the work done by his office and reduce confusion among members of the media who struggle to correctly identify him, the Missouri State Auditor announced today he will now be known simply as Fitz. The auditor formerly known as Scott Fitzpatrick said the change is necessary in large part because reporters from all parts of the state have regularly struggled to correctly pronounce his name beyond Fitz, commonly misidentifying him as Scott Fitzgerald. 

"I have immense respect for the work the members of the media do to cover our audits and investigations, but it has become abundantly clear that correctly identifying me as Auditor Fitzpatrick is something that gives them fits. The switch to Fitz will allow me to spend less time correcting misprints and more time holding government accountable for every tax dollar," said Fitz. 

Despite repeated corrections, media outlets across the state have continued to mix up Fitzpatrick with various Fitzgeralds, occasionally inventing new people in the process. The Fitz-fusion has persisted for centuries, long before Auditor Fitz's time in office. For years historians incorrectly identified which Fitz-something had abandoned Hugh Glass after Glass was mauled by a grizzly bear. Thankfully, the movie The Revenant was finally able to set the record straight by correctly identifying the man who left Glass to die as John S. Fitzgerald not legendary frontiersman Thomas Fitzpatrick. More recently, former NFL quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick was frequently confused with former Australian rules footballer Ryan Fitzgerald. In an effort to help minimize the confusion, Fitzgerald made the decision to re-brand himself as Fitzy. 

"Somewhere out there, F. Scott Fitzgerald is getting credit for an audit, and I'm getting blamed for The Great Gatsby," Fitz said. "At this point, simplifying things isn't just a branding decision, it's a public service." 

The rebrand is also expected to produce measurable efficiency gains in the newsroom, where headline space is limited and spelling errors are costly. Early internal estimates from the Auditor's office project the move could save enough characters to write several additional sentences about actual audit findings. 

"I've been a proud Fitzpatrick my entire life and I don't make this change lightly, but government waste shouldn't get a pass just because nobody knows what to call me. As I try to bring the importance of our audit work into the public spotlight, the change to Fitz just fits. One syllable. One mission. Find the waste. Tell the taxpayers," said Fitz. 

Despite the lighthearted tone of the announcement, Fitz emphasized the underlying goal is serious and even though the name is getting shorter, the expectations for government efficiency are not. 

"Missourians expect transparency, accountability, and results," Fitz said. "That's what we're focused on and that what we're going to keep delivering." 

Taxpayers can find the latest audits and investigations online at auditor.mo.gov or follow Fitz's ongoing accountability efforts on X at @Auditor_Fitz.